And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
