Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
