it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
