i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Never underestimate the power of titties
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
