Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize