I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
