South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
