He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I had to cum in my sink.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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