so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize