Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I will pee on everything he values.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
