I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
