We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ladies don't puke and tell
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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