Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
