so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I need moral support for this bender
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
