Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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