Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
