i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
