I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Holy sore nipples Batman
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
