I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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