2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
