he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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