So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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