I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
