I could have mohawked her pubes.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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