..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
