I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
