Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
