Buhtt sex?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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