and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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