woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
