You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
