i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize