He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
