so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
