No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
