really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
