that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
