I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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