I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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