do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My ass is underappreciated
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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