ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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