Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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