Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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