This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
