biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
