Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i've created a new STD.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize