yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
