Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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