I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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