Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
