why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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