I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
