I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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