THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
