I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
