plz talk dirty to me
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
