I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
