My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
