A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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