i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
