Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
