I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
