Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
