38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize