Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it hurts more in the daytime
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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