return my video game
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
