I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
