He asked me if I "almost moaned"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
