you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
