So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
