If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize