question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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