I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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