Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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