You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I didn't notice because vodka
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
