she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
